12 Week Update

This week, Button is the size of a: plum!

How far along? 12 weeks

Due date: August 26, 2013

Total weight gain/loss: 5 pounds lost...but I look bigger…hmmm.  My tummy was a LOT flatter than this!!  And my pants/skirts don't fit. 

Maternity clothes? Nope.  But really loose dresses and skirts because tight things are uncomfortable.  Bras are the WORST.

Sleep:  Not too shabby!

Best moment this week: Seeing baby Button dance on the ultrasound!!!  Mind. Blown.

Movement: can’t feel a thing even though apparently Button is practicing his/her acrobatics

Food cravings: salty things.  Bacon.  Cheese enchiladas.  One hard shell taco, one small red burrito, and a kid sized Mr. Pibb from Of the Taco.

Food aversions:  EVERYTHING.  When did everything start tasting like toenail flavored disgustingness?


Symptoms: Nausea; sore boobies, peeing like crazy, emotional, shooting pains down there (don’t worry, Dr. said it’s normal), and excessive tooting.


Gender: Haven’t the foggiest but I keep saying him.


Labor Signs: Thank goodness no!


Belly Button in or out?  My father cut my umbilical cord funny so it’s always been half in/half out.  No Change! 


Feeling toward Pregnancy: Was feeling a little over it/in disbelief until I saw Button dance.  Now I’m feeling like this is really real and I’m excited!


What I miss: Being able to eat what I wanted when I wanted without fear of nauseous repercussions.  


What I am looking forward to: Finding out the sex of this baby!  Moving into the supposed much easier second trimester.


Milestones: Baby’s first home video.  =)

Daddy says:  "Baby likes to dance!"

Emotions

Apparently one of the most common pregnancy symptoms is mood swings...Hallmark commercials, dramatic television, acts of kindness, and sometimes even homework are proving this symptom true for me.

Me (shouting to my husband in another room): I love watching Toddlers and Tiaras because of all the dysfunction.

Hubby: If you push pause and wait for me, I can come in there and watch it with you.

Me: sniffle...sniffle...TEARS.

Hubby: Baby?

Me (in between sniffles): That was...so...sweet.

Hubby:  haha...are you joking right now?  (comes into room)

Me (still crying):  sniff...no.

Hubby:...wow...you are really...pregnant...

Dear Stranger,

Dear Stranger sitting next to me in class today,

I'm so sorry.  I wish I could have turned around and explained myself.  I wish you knew me and knew that I am pregnant and therefore have a very credible excuse.  I wish I could have had the courage to face you.  If I was facing you, then perhaps you would not have suffered as much. 

You see, I can't control what is going on in my body.  I have very little say in the things that I do.  Well, I do have some control, ya know...but just not of everything. 

For example, I seem to have no control over my emotions.  And tears cannot be held back no matter how hard I try.  So you can imagine how difficult it is to watch Grey's Anatomy.  And then when I re-tell the story to my husband, I have no control over the fact that I look like a crazy person. 

I also have no control over the smells that now cause me to retch and gag and feel so angry at the offensive owner of the smell that I consider assault. 

I have no control over my entire gastrointestinal system at all, as a matter of fact.  Everything sounds and tastes disgusting.  But, of course, if I don't eat anything, I will violently vomit up every ounce of bile in my tummy.

I know this is all TMI, but I'm just trying to explain to you why you should forgive me.  Because it's not my fault.  I can't control it!

There is a LIFE growing inside of me lady!  A HUMAN BEING.  Who is currently growing FINGERNAILS!  That's right!  I'm making FINGER NAILS in my womb at this very moment.  Turns out it's kinda hard making finger nails.  And intestines, and brains, and skin, and stuff.  And my body is kind of tired.  So give me a break!  Please do not be angry!  Do not be disgusted!  I DIDN'T MEAN IT!

What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry that I sat in the seat immediately next to you, turned my back to you, and farted 13 times.  I could smell it so I know you could smell it too.  And I'm sorry.  But as we've already established, I couldn't help it.  It's not my fault.  Blame my baby (I won't tell).  Personally, I'm just glad I didn't poop on myself because for a minute there I actually thought that might happen.

So again, I'm sorry.

Bare Honesty

Me: Is your child still in the room?
Best friend: No.
Me: Good, cuz I want to show you these boobs.  They're out of control.
Best friend: I'm so glad you offered because I was curious and I didn't know if it was awkward to ask.

That's what friends are for.

Toddler Thoughts on Pregnancy, Part 2

Niece: Kitty is there still a seed in your belly?
Me: Well, it's more like an embryo now but...yes.
Niece: Can I see it?
Me: (chuckles) well...no because it's inside me.  We can't see it until it comes out.
Niece: Please?  Just for a little bit?
Me: That's not the way it works...when it comes out do you think the baby will be a boy or a girl?
Niece:  mmm...a boy.
Me:  Ok. And what should we name that boy?
Niece:  mmm...Charlie!
Me: Charlie?  Why Charlie?
Niece:  I dunno.  I like that name...or Keisha! 
Me: (laughs)
Niece: and then me and you and Charlie or Keisha can go play! 

So there we have it, a future baby Charlie or Keisha!  It is spoken.

Toddler Thoughts on Pregnancy, Part 1

My 3 year old niece was listening in when I video chatted with my family and told them I was pregnant.  She heard her mother, my best friend (and my brother's wife), talk about her dizziness and how she was chased by bees while dizzy, which caused her to fall down.  Niece-face LATCHED onto this story and I proceeded to get multiple calls from her over the next few days...

Niece: Kitty, before you go I just want to say to watch out for the bees.

---

phone rings, caller ID says it's my mother
Me: Hey mom!
Niece: Kitty, I just really don't want the bees to make you fall down cuz you're dizzy and there's a baby in your belly.  Ok?  Love you! Bye!

--

phone rings
Me: Hello?
Niece: Kitty.  The bees.  Watch out for the bees.  Bye!


--

Phone rings again
Me: hello...
Niece: ...I'm just really worried about the bees and you falling down.  Ok. Bye.



She's really wondering why nobody else is acknowledging the severity of this bee situation.  I suppose I'll be sure to watch out for bees.

Lost in Translation

Quite possibly the most awkward and hilarious conversation I've had thus far...

After our initial blood test, my doctor called and said she wanted to do some extra tests because she was concerned about an early miscarriage.  That's one word that can freak out a pregnant lady as soon as it's spoken.  So of course, hubby and I were hyper-vigilant about the things that could help or hurt a pregnancy.  Specifically, we were wondering if I could still take certain over the counter medications and if orgasms would harm an as of yet precarious pregnancy.  The internet and our pregnancy book had all kinds of answers...none of them were the same.  So we took our questions to our doctor.  And behold the most awkward conversation I've ever had in the middle of a nurses' station:

N = new nurse I had never seen before.  Her spoken English has not quite reached the fluency level.
S = me
H = hubby, standing and observing silently for most of conversation


N = Ok, so you said you had questions for doctor...
S = Yes...about medication and other activities
N = (typing) Ok..."medication."  What kind of medication?
S = I want to know if I can take benadryl.
N = Ok..."benadryl"  That's the name of the medication?
S = ...yes.
N = Ok..."wants to know if she can take benadryl."  Ok. And you said something else?  Another question for doctor?
S = yes...I want to know...if it's ok to have an orgasm while we're waiting for these test results.  I dunno if it'll like...jostle the embryo or something.
N = Ok.  An orgasm.
S = yes.
N = and what is orgasm?
S = um...well...it's like what happens to you at the end of sex sometimes.  Ya know, like climax.
N = Ok. Yes.  So it is like exercise.
S = not...quite.
N = Oh so it is a medication??  (completely straight face)
S = no...it's more of...an experience (trying very hard not to look at hubby or other nurses because I'm sure I will die of laughter if I do)
N = I do not understand.
S = It's an experience of like waves rushing over your body that feels really good during sex...(i'm hoping she gets this one because I truly don't know how else to explain it)
N = Oh. Ohhhhhh!!!!!  Like waves (runs hands over body and smiles)
S = yes...like that...
N = Ok. I ask her (walks away)

H = (quietly) I feel like that's a word she should know...

giggles abounded.