*to the tune of the song from Enchanted (not my property, all rights reserved, yada yada yada)
The initial conversations behind the positive test(s) that started it all!!! This is a loooong one because it contains many stories.
One day while driving back from practicum, the song that was used in our wedding slide show came on the radio and I began to cry. Nay, to sob. I was done driving before the song was over so I continued to sit in my car, singing and crying with Ruben Stoddard as my emotional soundtrack.
Once inside, I began to watch some online television and a commercial for Hallmark came on. And. I. Lost. It. Waterworks. Blubber city.
So of course I posted about it on Facebook. And a friend sent me a private message in response, "saw your facebook post. do you need to pee on a stick?"
And I laughed.
A week or so later, I had a horrible experience at a nail salon that drove me to tears. At the time, it felt like the sadness equivalent of a million puppies drowning, watching PS, I Love You on my period, and learning that my favorite restaurant closed without warning as I'm driving to get my favorite meal from there. But looking back, I think hormones might have had something to do with the emotional outburst that caused my sweet husband to ask me if I wanted him to "go back in there and talk to that guy?!?!?"
When I recounted this story to my aunt at my Christmas party, she too wondered aloud if it might be time to pee on some sticks.
Chuckles abounded!
A few days after that, our young adult ministry had a Christmas party. Earlier in the day, I had a meeting that I felt strangely nauseous for. When it came time to go to the party, I was in the foulest of moods and hated everyone (which is strange, because I love people so much...especially those people!!). Not only was I crabby, but the nausea came back too! All the delicious food and I couldn't bring myself to eat any of it!
As I sat near the food table trying to coax a string bean into my mouth I confided in a friend how nauseous I was feeling. And she said:
"It's probably that baby in your belly."
I was too irritable and nauseous to laugh at her. And newlyweds will tell you that hardly a week goes by when somebody doesn't make a pregnancy joke about you, so I didn't think too much about it.
Later, hilariously (in hindsight), I chose a trio of socks for my white elephant gift. The trio included what looked like mommy socks, daddy socks, and itty bitty baby socks. We all laughed at the fact that the only married woman in the room would pick that gift. Our friends jokingly called it prophetic and we took pictures with the socks on my belly. Turns out, I actually was pregnant in that moment...ha HA!
After we got home, me cheered up by our friends but still nauseous, I had a strange urge to buy some vitamins. Prenatal ones. Hubby obliged (bless his heart; it was like 10pm). While we were there, I thought it could be useful to simply have some pregnancy tests on hand.
The next morning, as I was getting up to go to practicum, I thought..."why don't I just pee on a stick?" Hubby was gone so no one would be the wiser. I read every word of the instructions and one line stuck out to me: "No matter how faint of a line you see, a line is a line." Or something like that.
So I peed on the stick. Waited three minutes. Rolled my eyes at myself before I looked at the test because this was just so silly. And then my heart stopped when I saw the faintest of lines. I was in total disbelief so I ran to the hallway to get the other stick to see if maybe the line is a little visible before you pee on it. Nope.
I clean up and hide the evidence of this insanity. I decide to not tell my husband until I'm sure. I'm convinced this must be a mistake. I do NOT believe that I'm pregnant. And if I am, I want to tell him in some adorable way. But, unseen to me, a 1/4inch piece of the shiny pink wrapper falls into the living room trashcan.
I call my doctor who tells me to calm the heck down and come in for a urine test and to get a blood test if that's negative.
I go to practicum feeling relatively normal, if only a pinch freaked out. Then my body starts to go INSANE. I poop THREE times. It's like I can't stop. The room starts spinning. I get hot and nauseous. And when I go to lunch, they're having delicious chicken wings that all of the sudden look as appealing to me as iced vomit on sticks. So I decide to go home. But first I go to the doctor, deciding to talk to her about this possible stomach bug I might have that's making me feel like this. The tiniest thought of a baby in my belly makes me drive veeeeery slowly. I tell ya, that maternal instinct kicks in FAST!
Arrive at doctor's office. Pee in a cup. She returns with a completely unreadable face.
Nurse: The test was negative.
Me: ...but I had a positive one this morning...
Nurse: Oh, did you use like an EPT or something?
Me: Yes.
Nurse: Oh well then you're probably pregnant.
Me: ?????? (give crazy eye)
Nurse: those tests are stronger than ours
So I get the blood test. I want to get a little shirt that says "I love my daddy" but I didn't want to have something tangible to make me sad if I wasn't pregnant...since I was officially getting a little excited. So I just drove home, planning to sneak back out after I saw my results online.
I'm sitting on the couch, trying to be normal when hubby asks:
"did you take a pregnancy test today?"
I can't think of a lie quickly enough and I struggled with the idea of lying to him anyway. So I said nothing. And then I started to wonder how in the world he knew!!!
Hubby: It's just...I found this in the trash can when I knocked it over (holds up most tiny piece of paper ever to exist)
Me: And you just knew it was from a pregnancy test taken today!?!?!?!?
Hubby: (chuckles) well the wrapping isn't discrete and I know we just bought some last night...so did you take one?
dang. distraction didn't work.
Me: Yes. (hoping he will drop it, return attention to computer)
Hubby: (staring at me with eyebrows lifted)...AND?????
Me:...it was positive.
Hubby: (freaks out with happiness as I tell him the story of the day and we wait for the blood tests to come in).
Blood test came later. Positive. Oh, baby...
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