Since today marks 9 months of Jack Jack being outside the womb, I thought I'd finally write down the story of how he made his escape.
His due date was August 26 which was the day before our 2 year anniversary so Chris planned a mini trip to the Long Beach Pier on August 17th. We decided to celebrate the birthday of my grandmother, whose actual birthday is August 18th, on the 16th because I had a strange feeling that I wouldn't make it much longer. I finished my finals early in the wee hours of the 16th because, again, I felt like I wasn't going to make it much longer. I hadn't been checked or anything and wasn't having a whole bunch of labor signs...just a strange feeling. I also had zero nesting instincts which everybody told me would immediately precede my labor. Our apartment was a mess (so much so that my parents and grandmother went to clean it while we were in the hospital...don't judge.)
So here's the timeline...
August 16th:
noon - Chris' job throws us a super sweet joint baby shower.
2pm - I go use a giftcard from my dance peeps to get my nails done.
6pm - we head to my parents' house to celebrate my grandmother.
12am - we get home. Chris gives me instructions on what time I need to be up in order for us to have sufficient time for our anniversary festivities before he has to be at work at 3pm.
1am onward...I BARELY sleep.
August 17th:
7am- Chris goes to men's prayer
8am- Chris returns and drags/rolls me out of bed
*as soon as I get up I notice that I feel different. Jackson is barely moving and for the past 4 months or so he'd been waking me up with a barrage of kicks to various organs. Even though I am usually a worrywort, I am not concerned at all and have a weird peace. I mention the difference to Chris and assure him that everything's fine. He thinks nothing of it.
8:45am - we finally head to the pier.
9:30am - we arrive at the pier and I feel an extreme amount of pressure as I'm getting out of the car. As we're walking into the aquarium, I feel even more uncomfortable that I have been feeling and I feel like I can't walk very fast.
9:30 - 10am - we walk around and I mention that I feel like maybe I'm having tiny contractions. Chris thinks it's possibly Braxton Hicks because it's not time yet!!! I have a weird feeling and feel strangely confident that SOMETHING is going on down there. We have to stop A LOT as we waddle around.
10:30am - We grab some food and I call my mommy to tell her what I think is happening and get her thoughts. I have a contraction while on the phone and she tells me she thinks this is the real deal. I start to feel a combination of TERROR, disbelief, and confidence. The food is not settling with me but Chris, remembering our labor classes, tries to get me to eat so I'll have the energy to push a human out of me. While we're eating, we experience a small girl being traumatized by the violent death of three birds slamming into a too-clean window. It was disturbing and we left the area after the aquarium people arrived. Chris gets a piece of paper and starts tracking the contractions.
11:30am - Chris asks me what I want to do since he'd bought tickets for some show and for a boat ride. I decide I want to try to walk around as much as I can and we'll take it hour by hour. So we line up for our boat ride and I struggle to exactly pinpoint when a contraction stops and starts. We do our best to estimate. People come up to talk to me because my large belly is a people magnet. While on the boat, I looove the wind blowing on my face and the ability to sit down through the contractions and I manage to fall asleep on Chris' shoulder for a while. I remember the family behind us was talking SO LOUDLY and I was so irritable that I wanted to turn around and say: "Stop having so much fun!!!" lol. I also remember noticing a couple in front of us that seemed to be on a first or second date and it was adorable...although they were drinking a lot.
1pm - The ride is over and I decided that I don't think that I want to stay any longer. I want to be home...in my own bed and preferably naked. So we discuss how long we think this labor will take and wonder if Chris should call someone to cover his shift. We decide it's best to do it earlier than risk him having to leave in the middle. His coworkers are super sweet and have it covered, as usual. =). The car ride back is a small slice of hell.
2pm - 11pm - I labor at home...naked. =) First I try to clean but then I text a friend and she and her recently-having-given-birth/doula sister strongly suggest that I SIT MY TAIL DOWN AND REST. They offer to come help but I refuse. I order a gift card for a friend because I hadn't done it yet and didn't think I'd remember after I gave birth. The lady on the phone is only slightly weirded out by my contraction sounds. Chris cleans and brings me snacks. He reminds me of my labor plan and brings in the birth ball. When I curl up during contractions, he loudly reminds me to open my hips up so I don't fight against the labor. After I fantasize about punching him in the face, I try some of the open labor positions. THEY. HURT. It makes the contractions feel a million times worse. Contractions, for me, felt like a combination of diarrhea pains, running cramps, burning in my lower belly, and SEARING KNIVES IN MY VAGINA. Chris runs me a bath and it feels AMAZING...too amazing. I get nervous that I'm slowing my labor down or something because I can no longer feel the contractions so I get out. I weirdly knew that my body needed to do that very painful thing. I take a 1-2 hour nap before I'm woken up by intensifying contractions.
August 18th:
12 midnight - after a chat with the labor and delivery department, we decide it's time to make it over to the hospital. Chris packs everything but the kitchen sink and I start to lose my patience with how long he's taking. As the contractions get stronger and stronger, I try to visualize my vagina opening up (I know it's your cervix that opens but I don't know what that looks like lol) and focus all my energy on trying not to hold any tension in my body. That concentration makes the time go by a little faster but it's also making me mentally exhausted (on top of the physical exhaustion).
2am - we get signed in to L&D and they come to check my dilation. I HATE vaginal exams and I. Freak. Out. Chris knows I hate these exams and came prepared. This man asks everyone to leave the room once I start getting upset and takes out his computer and a CD that I brought home from school that was titled "Relaxation Exercises." He had planned to have me do them in order to decrease my anxiety. He's amazing. However, he didn't realize that it was a CD of my professor giving a lecture on the usefulness of relaxation exercises. Lol. It's the thought that counts. A big, burly lady doctor comes in and they literally hold me down while they check me while Chris whispers soothing things to me and shoots the doctor dirty looks. PS: There MUST be a better way for them to do that... They tell me I'm on the cusp of being admittable so I can choose to go home or be admitted. I think it will be a waste of time to go home (30 minutes away) just to come back in a few hours so we are admitted.
*the pain of contractions got so intense at this point that I was quite out of it. My family filled me in on some things and other aspects I only vaguely remember.
2:30am - the combination of labor pains and that stupid vaginal exam make me CRANK-Y and I am quite short with the nurses. We share our labor plan and one of the nurses is slightly sassy. Boooooo.
3am - I'm settled into my room and in the throes of labor now. They underappraise the strength of my contractions throughout my entire labor. Chris texts my mom to let her know we've been admitted.
3am-7am - OUCH. Labor pains are the WORST. Chris keeps telling me to take a walk in the labor garden, as we'd planned. I keep telling him to shut up. He does not like being told to shut up and tells me so. I apologize. The labor room is HUGE with a big shower that has a chair in it. I turn the water on full blast/high heat and get in multiple times. I keep my clothes off after the first shower and Chris keeps trying to discreetly put robes on me, which I very quickly shuck off. It feels so much better but the contractions are so painful it feels like the room goes black with each one. Chris falls asleep at some point and first I look at his sleeping body like "did this negro just fall asleep in the middle of my labor??" but then I decide that I don't mind because if he's sleeping he's not talking about what I now deem my STUPID labor plan. lol. Future labor plans: Have baby. lol Later I see Chris' texts to my mother and they seem a little desperate like PLEASE GET HERE MOTHER IN LAW DEAR LORD I NEED HELP THIS WOMAN IS CRAZY. They didn't actually say that but I read in between the lines. They keep offering me an epidural and I keep refusing.
7am-10am - my mother, grandmother, and father arrive. I am now blacking out in between contractions. Apparently that is normal. o_O My grandmother has brought Chris some McDonalds and opens the bag to give it to him. At the time, the sound is equivalent to nails on a chalkboard and the SMELL is like a violent assault on my nerves and stomach. So I say (possibly growl) GET THAT OUT OF HERE NOW. My father and grandmother literally scurry from the room and do not return for hours. Chris takes another (much needed) nap and I mumble to my mother to apply counterpressure to my back with each contraction (ie...PUSH ON MY BACK AS HARD AS YOU CAN! DON'T BE SHY!). I am very quiet throughout most of this, focusing all of my energy on concentrating through the contractions. Sometimes I moan softly because I feel like it helps me open up. My parents later said they were VERY surprised by how calm I was (I'm usually a rather loud/dramatic person). I. was. focused. My mother says that at one point a doctor comes in (I have ZERO recollection of this) and I firmly command him to "do something about all this light in here." I felt like all my senses were SO HEIGHTENED and every sound, sight, smell, sensation was so intense. The doctor looked around the room like "I don't know what she wants me to do..." but he sweetly went to the window to try to rearrange the blinds. lol I think that's precious. I'm feeling like I'm in a lot of pain and they offer intravenous drugs. I accept those. They do nothing except make me feel even groggier.
10:30am - I have officially been in labor for 24 hours and awake for the better part of 48. I. am. exhausted. I feel like I don't have much energy left to push. The nurses don't believe I've progressed much but I feel strangely confident that I'm very close. Something in me knows I'm really close to the end and I ignore them when they tell me it will take a lot longer because I'm probably only 5 or so centimeters dilated. WHATever, lady. I feel like I don't think I'll be able to put my energy into pushing and since the Labor Plan Police (ie my sweet husband) is asleep, I whisper the nurse over and request an epidural. STAT.
11am - I get an epidural. It was the easiest part of this whole process. Chris wakes up while they're bringing it in and is quite annoyed I made the decision without him, ESPECIALLY since my labor plan specifically dictated that he is to try to talk me out of me 3 times. Lol. At that point, I looked at him like..."listen...I need you to stand here and hold my hand while I get this needle put in my back. Cuz it's happening sir. It's happening." The anesthesiologist was AMAZING. She even came later that night and the next day to check on me.
11:02am -epidural kicks in and I fall promptly asleep. lol. It was amazing. I felt pressure but no pain.
12noon - I wake up to the sound of my father and grandmother coming in. My father, remembering my earlier growl, sheepishly asks if he can hug me. He says that I smiled at him and shouted "SURE!!! Do you guys want to watch the labor!!?!? Come on in!!! Happy birthday grandma!" I was feeling AWESOME at that point.
12pm - they come to do a vaginal exam and I cheerfully reply "sure!" and found that I was at a 9. They were shocked since they surely thought I wasn't progressing quickly. I resisted the temptation to say "duh" or "I told you so." The nurse jokes around with me and tells me how the nurse that checked me in told her that I was going to be a handful when they switched shifts. She shows Chris the bulging waters and tells us that she'll need to call the doctor to pop it. As she points at it, it pops. lol. She says,"nevermind." However, she notices meconium in the fluid which means Jack Jack pooped in there. Sweetly and calmly, she comes over to me and whispers that although she's not worried at all, she's going to call the NICU team to come just in case there's an issue. She says it so quietly that nobody else hears her. She says it so sweetly that I'm not concerned at all. The nurse tells me we're gonna do some practice pushes. She tells me to push like I'm pooping while she counts to 10. She offers to put a mirror up so I can see. I feel weird about it but since everybody else can see down there, I decide I want to see too. She tells me to reach down and feel his head and I remember thinking that it felt the same as the jellyfish we touched at the aquarium. We hadn't talked about it, but I notice that Chris is filming and I'm very ok with that. (I'm SO glad it was filmed and I got to see the birth later). So I push and she says that I'm ready and it's time. I am in disbelief. This is it??? It's time??? She warns me that it could take a while to push him out.
12:10-12:18 - The doctor (who I'd never seen) comes in and a whole team of people (the NICU) file in around the baby bassinet thing. She pours some sort of oil stuff on my lady parts and tells my mom to grab a leg. She grabs the other one and Chris tries to find a good camera angle. My grandmother stands there looking teary eyed. My father goes into the corner probably because he doesn't want to see his daughter's vagina. He says it was because he didn't want to see me in pain and kept waiting for that part. I start pushing. Everyone can see Jackson coming out and they start shouting in excitement. He pops his head around the corner to look when we start shouting excitedly. I can no longer see much because the doctor is blocking the mirror and I think I was closing my eyes during pushes. I think I only pushed through 3 contractions and then...
12:28pm. Jackson was born. =) I didn't cry. I just looked at him with shock and wonder. I remember feeling surprised that he came out alive. I think part of me was expecting him to come out as an egg that I would later need to sit on to hatch or something. I dunno... They quickly pass him to the NICU team and the Labor Plan Police (my hero husband) is like "HEY! She wants kangaroo care! She wants him on her chest immediately!" I know what they're doing because the nurse had prepared me so I assure him that it's ok but I'm calling out "Is he ok? Is he ok?" They seem to have tunnel vision on checking his lungs and whatnot (if they inhale the meconium it can cause problems) and after the longest 30 seconds of my life, they bring him to me and assure me that he's ok. They tell me that his apgar score was a 9 and he's absolutely perfect. =) The MINUTE they put him on my chest, Jackson immediately and instinctively started to move his mouth toward my nipple and latched on right away. He was very alert and just stared at me like he knew who I was. All of the pain and stress of the labor was IMMEDIATELY gone the moment I saw him. After wondering for 9 months why anyone would ever get pregnant twice, I quickly thought "I'd do that again!" when I held him. After I kept him on my chest for two hours, I finally let others hold him. Chris was first and he took off his shirt so they could have skin to skin. =)
During this time, the doctors were stitching me up because I tore in two places. The doctor asked if I minded if the resident helped her and I was so enamored with Jack Jack that she could have invited the janitor in to throw a stitch and I wouldn't have cared.
Believe it or not, I wouldn't change a single thing about my labor or delivery.
26+ hours of labor from start to finish and it was totally worth it. =)
Postpartum recovery and early breastfeeding were hell though...lol
